I longed for so many years, longed from a deep place for a Father's Love. I'm not sure why but it was an unconscious longing, one I could not put in words, one I felt. I grew up with a father and am blessed to still have a dad, but because of my fathers own woundedness I struggled with abandonment. Diagnosed at 12 with separation anxiety disorder. When I met Yeshua a few years later, I met a man who loved me, who drew me in to a deep place. Everyone's walk and travelling journey is different, mine was unique and it involved walking in to the darkness of abandonment and surrendering it in total trust, to the Great I am. The Loving Father with twinkling eyes when He looks at me.
Today, it has been a journey, one that has spanned the years and yet here I stand my hand in Daddy's Hand. Laura Boggess shared in her book playdates with God, a beautiful piece that was really true of my own experience too. She shared how she used to experience God when she sat beside the ocean but one day while on vacation she sat beside the ocean and did not experience it in the same way. She asked God, are you hiding from me? His answer was clear, her walk of playdates had resulted in learning to live with Gods daily presence. My journey has been the same, through many deep realities and through an intimate relationship of abandon, I now live in a space purchased for me by the blood of the King. A space that is deeply Heavenly, a place where His love has broken down my feelings of abandonment. A place where I am legitimate, where I know I belong, where I know that Father would give the world for me, and He did...
I find personal posts like this, sort of hard to share because there are no words or explanations for years of living and loving with an Everlasting God. But I have met so many young girls who have father wounds and who wrongly believe those wounds cannot heal. I want to tell you precious sister, daughter, beloved of the Most High - there is always hope for healing complete. He wants to heal us in our deepest parts. Our brokenness is no match for His Liberty, our pain no match for His Grace and Love. Give it a chance and may His Precious Love melt away the frost of a hardened heart of pain.
Daddy, thank You for being the Father I always longed for, it was always You that my heart yearned for. I Love You - the greatest Papa, the wonderful Son, the Beautiful One I have ever known, thank You Daddy, for setting me free....
A beautiful space with God, purchased just for you. What a visual. A precious and personal post. I appreciate your transparency. Bless you this Father's Day as you soak in His love. Following you at The Weekend Brew.
ReplyDeleteShalom Julie, thank you so much. Bless you and have a wonderful week, thanks for visiting today :))
DeleteThank you for sharing so honestly and vulnerably. I understand that deep desire for a father's love and I am blessed as well as you to have that love from God. Barbie and I are blessed that you shared this at The Weekend Brew.
ReplyDeleteHi Mary, I am so glad that you understand that deep desire, so many of us feel it. Thanks for your kind words and have a wonderful week!
DeleteThat God-shaped hole - I've never heard it put so poignantly. I pray your words bring hope to those girls and women yearning for a true father's love. I admire your strength and your grace.
ReplyDeleteHi Janet, its nice to see you again :) Thank you, I appreciate your words so much, and pray you will have a wonderful week and may you know deeply Your Fathers Love for you! big hugs!
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