Friday 18 December 2020

FMF - Not Letting Go

Five Minute Friday - Sharing my heart and thoughts in 5 minutes, writing on the world "conclude," go!


As we conclude the year 2020, I found I held inside a sense of fear. It's become normal for people to say "it's been a bad year," or "it's been a year!" And I get that, it has. Covid was suddenly around, it was among us, with us and continues to take many lives in its wake. South Africa had one of the worst lockdowns in the world, back in March. Looking back, I'm so grateful for it, though initially I was fearful. 

But personally, I felt as though I was falling apart when lock down began. 

I suddenly had to face trauma I had carried with me from 2019, that I had subconsciously numbed through work, new opportunities and day to day living. I ignored the gnawing sadness that had entered the new year with me. Lock down was used by God to help me face this. I grew a lot, so much in fact that I am a whole lot stronger. A lot has changed inside of me and I have been able to see parts of myself that I could not see before because I was "hidden" behind things I wouldn't face.

SO as 2021 approaches, it feels unknown. Not because of Covid, but because of the good things this year gave me and I've been afraid to let go of that. Yet, over the past week in times of prayer, the fear has slipped away. The changes and the inner growth cannot be taken away. God has good in store, there are new seasonal beginnings, but God has them all and HE never stops working on us, when we walk hand in hand with Him.


I feel incredibly grateful this year, that God has done amazing things for many people I love and care about. I've seen that the work He has done has been inwardly and that's a precious gift. What are you grateful for today? 

Friday 4 December 2020

Friendship and Connection

Have Missed taking part in the Five Minute Friday posts!

So writing today for five minutes on the prompt "present." Go!

I've struggled with the meaning of friendships over the years. Wondering if I could put my finger on what my needs are, and what I want to be for others. I know I am deeply loyal and faithful, I care, love blessing my friends and holding space for them. I believe in sitting on the couch, letting your friend cry and loving them in the mess of it all. I believe in connecting, I'm not superficial or surface. I can't be, it's just not me. I'm not intense or crazy, and I only allow a handful of people to be called friend. 

Inevitably though, people claim to look for friendship, but cannot commit to connecting. We as a society, have become afraid of connection. So people stay surface - level. They don't impart the gift of connection, which is my definition of friendship.

Even as I pen these words, I'm struck by a deep revelation. My word for the year - given to me by God - is "connection."

Let me tell you, when I got this word at the beginning of 2020, I was kinda confused. I had no context or words, no frame of reference for the word connection. Now, some 10 months later in a Covid world, I have so much context for the word connection. I'm also now aware that my friendships have to come with connection. If they don't, I struggle with it and that's okay too. It is our presence and our ability to go deeper than the surface that can cause a friend to become more than an acquaintance, I believe this is where true friendship begins....


Linking with Five Minute Friday