Tuesday 29 December 2015

The Posts that Lingered Longer - 2015

I decided to do a post where I could remind myself (and you all!) of the messages that came through to me. This little reminder turned our harder then expected. Every post means something to me,  I dont just post for the sake of it, I post when my heart beats louder! SO instead I decided to recap on the posts that lingered, the ones I can't forget and the ones that sparked a flame! Here they are! Enjoy!

  1. How Burn Out saved my Life
  2. Female Ritual Servitude
  3. Remember those Fries?
  4. Why the End of China's One Child Policy Matters to Me
  5. Touching Icebergs
  6. Dirty Paint Brushes
  7. Finding His Breath in Rest
  8. We've come Home
  9. A Legacy on Tour
  10. Finding Self, in Kitchen

Saturday 26 December 2015

A Scary Sharing

This year I shared about a dream that God birthed in to a great reality. I signed a book contract with a big publishing house and finally knew what it felt like to be signed with a big publishing company. Through the experience I learned and grew and felt grateful. But all has not been rosy. Writing a book for me is not about the page numbers or the ink, it’s about the message God has placed in my heart, that is why I write. To share the message. 

During the editing process this year however, I came face to face with the stark truth. The publishing editor is uninterested in the message I have to share with women. Plastic surgery was performed on my work. I have worked as a journalist for 6 years now and have written for big magazines and newspapers but nothing prepared me for what I faced when I saw someone rip in to my message. Work, even great work has to be edited – it was not the editing that affected me, but something far deeper, something I could not put my finger on. So when I submitted my second book, I saw again a deep dislike of my message, even though the editor is interested in publishing it.

Sadly, I worked with an amazing editorial assistant but she resigned abruptly this year and left the company, which meant that I fell in to the hands of one of the company editors. While the first assistant was kind and caring, I am now facing someone who breaks down my ideas and seems to dislike the message of empowerment for women that I have to share.

So when I got my second book back, with rude comments and harsh words, I prayed again at the intense feelings I felt within my belly. That was when God started speaking to me, the Good Father comforted me. I am a non – conformer, my parents have a saying they use for me almost my entire life – “then came Aliyah.” They say it affectionately and tenderly, it means that I am different, there is no one like me, I understand myself and I live in a town all my own. MY uniqueness and individuality has been something that has made me who I am and it is something God has nurtured me in. Throughout my life many people haven’t liked me because I don’t conform, and because I don’t need outside approval for inward things. I only need Yeshua’s approval. That does not make me arrogant or crazy, it just means I am a free spirit, with a deep heart of compassion. I love people and want to share His Love with them but in the way that I am. 

When I began to be unable to look at my own work anymore with love, I knew something was wrong. And that’s what started to happen. The words I had loved, the sentences I had admired and the love I felt for my own work all began to pain instead of joy. It was then that I knew, they were trying to make me something I am not and the biggest part of me was paining – my spirit knew the truth before my mind has fully comprehended it. Even as I write these words I am shedding tears. I also pained this all in silence because I thought that no one else would understand, that people would call me spoilt or ungrateful. But I am just the opposite and I don’t want to suffer alone in the silence anymore. 

This week I have picked up my book again and I love it. I hold my main character to my heart with great tears and know that she is amazing. She has a story to share with me and with many others and she in unique, a non – conformer as all my female characters are. They cannot be anything else because I was not fashioned to share them as anything else. I have decided inwardly that I don’t want to work with someone who cannot see the beauty in my story. I don’t want to work with someone who hates the God message inside of me because they are defiled and unsaved. I don’t want to work where the darkness wants to choke the light and snuff all goodness from the soil. I don’t want to work where I am barely able to recognise the sword God has placed in my hand. This year I was given a clear word of confirmation about my writing. A vision someone saw of me holding a lance, a spear – a weapon to be used against the enemy. The lance looked like a pen, it was my writing. It is a weapon and I am learning how to use it. My pen is being broken down because the enemy is using the openness in others to try and snuff out the danger to his kingdom and I simply won’t allow it to be so. I know God opened the door for my first book to be published with this company and I fought so bravely to protect my work. I am excited for its release in 6 months’ time but I have also now learned that I won’t settle. I won’t be deceived by the enemy and I won’t allow what is unclean to defile what I have been given, its holy, its sacred and it was birthed from the spirit place in me, where God dwells. I pray for the courage and encouragement to forge ahead bravely just like Joshua did in a land of strangers and foreigners!

God I pray for the strength to face my journey, with courage and with eyes to see a bigger vision. A bigger, wider open space. I pray for the strength to know that victory is certain and that there is a beautiful oasis waiting in what has seemed like a wilderness. I pray for peace and for release in Yeshua’s Name. And Thank You that You’re a Good Good Father. I love You. 

This song has really been used by God to minister to me in this time, I pray you will take a listen!

Friday 18 December 2015

FMF - Always

This week, we choosing our own word and mine is always! Go!

 God is beautiful. This morning as I stood outside and took in the fresh, warm air I heard the birds in the distance and their song ministered to me. I love the bird song, it's sweet. A melody I have grown to hear when I find rest within my soul. This week was difficult, tiring and in it, I have let go. Let go of having to have it all together, of standing tall and straight up, letting go in to the arms of Love. My position inside was mirrored when I sat on my bed yesterday afternoon and just sunk in to those pillows, safe in the arms of Love. And I felt this tremendous weight of Love, the Love of God all around me and I felt His presence near. He whispered "can you feel that, even now I'm holding you." 

It's okay to sink in that place of not having to be that smiling person who has it all together because no matter what, He holds me in the good times and in the bad. And last night as I put on some music, I could dance as the sun set and the music moved. Bryan Adams, old school and then I heard the words anew of my old favourite song, "I'd fight for you, walk the wire for you, yeah I'd die for you... you know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you." And isn't it true, God could have written this song for me and for you, because He did die for me, walked the wire for me and continues to say, I'm holding you, because everything I do, I do it for you.....  

Linking with Kate M  

Guest Post - Why the End of China's One Child Policy Matters to Me

Hi Everyone!

I am writing over at Christian for Biblical Equality again, this week. I have written a heartfelt article on why The End of China's One Child Policy, Matters to Me. Please go and take a read!

Here's the intro and the link! Have a fab Day!

My husband and I were sitting in a restaurant waiting for our food. A young couple sat down at the table just in front of us.
“So,” my husband began, “I know you told me not to tell you about all the news stories I’ve read today, but I read something interesting you need to know about.”
“China has ended its one-child policy.”
The waiter arrived and placed our food on the table, but I could barely see my meal. I was dumbstruck by the news my husband had shared. I thought back to the years of prayers on the issue of gendercide in China. I recalled the group of women who gathered on International Women’s Day last year to discuss the plight of Chinese women and girls.
Thirty-seven million girls have been lost.....
To Read the Rest click the Link!

Sunday 13 December 2015

Reflecting on our One Word 2015

Looking back at the beginning of the year, I was reluctant to enter in to the one word vibe, thinking that this one word would somehow form a narrow path in front of me. However, I see just how this one word from God, created something completely opposite in my life. It opened up so much and I am truly grateful, for God gracing me with a word for this year.

In previous years, I used to write a letter to God round December time. A personal letter, that had my fears in, dreams in, questions in, words, expectations for the year - all sorts of things! And I would seal it up and only open it the following year. The beauty, the answers, the awesome - ness of it would just open in front of me. I have neglected that sacred practice and I am determined to start doing it again from this year. Along with this, I have realised that this one word practice (or in my case one prophetic phrase) is actually a really cool thing. 

So my word for 2015 was spirit - birth expectancy. Wow, talk about a big one. I don't quite grasp just how much this permeated through in to many areas of my life but what I can say is that, this year has been a great one. Yes, every year has its ups and downs, but the depth and the sojourn, the change and shift in my relationship with Yeshua has been worth it. A change in who I am, in living out God - dreams and growing in my marriage and inwardly its been Spirit - birthed and again, I am thankful.

So here's to all our words, I hope yours was realised this year and that its something to celebrate!

Wednesday 9 December 2015

Touching Icebergs and Learning

Yesterday, hubby and I enjoyed a great day out, among all the tourists and holiday - makers. We visited the Titanic Exhibition, which was incredibly moving and haunting and then we sat outside beneath the trees and the gulls, eating our lamb schwarma and sipping our smoothies. Our backdrop was the ultimate scene, one I grew up seeing everyday from the big windows of my home by the beach, Table Mountain. I must say that my heart swells with pride about being a Capetonian, my parents families have been here for a combined 400 years, we are truly of this soil. And everytime I visit the Waterfront and observe how the tourists gush at the beauty, I cannot help but say "yip, thats my mountain baby!" 

(Me, touching the iceberg at the exhibition, boy it was freezing!)

(Us, with our headsets <3)

We enjoyed the sense again of being on holiday and just chilling, I dont think we do it enough but it was great. This week, I have been wrestling with a number of things, and through the very pieces of cotton that Yeshua uses to thread my life, He has also been telling me many things. This year both hubby and I have been blessed to sow deep seed. Much of the seed I have sown this year, will only be seen in the future. Sometimes that is hard, it makes me wonder, it leaves room for that nagging place that says "am I making a difference?" It's not a question I ask in public, it's a private one. And this afternoon I received a mail from someone I recently met and she echoed the same words about her own life. In a moment I realised, so many of us maybe ask the same question. 

The great comfort God has given me is a truth which may not make sense to anyone else but it makes sense to me. He told me that my work, my words and my message does not exist in the future, it exists in the present. It exists between me and God, between our hearts. I can laugh about the beauty of it, I can share with Him the magnificence of it. I dont have to wait until July next year to celebrate my book and it's prophetic message, I can celebrate it today because it is exists today. It always has existed in the heart of God, so it has always been a reality even when it was not yet written by me. It existed when I took my first breath and when Isaiah prophesied His first prophecy and it existed when Eve ate from the apple, the message He wants me to share has always existed because God has always existed. And at this particular point of time, He brought me forth to speak it, so it's alive from the moment it was conceived, so today I can rejoice. I can rejoice because it's real, its not future bound, its present bound and Yahweh hears my heart beat, my daydreaming and my whispers and we can share it and what we share between us alone, draws us closer in intimacy. It is alive today.

I also received an encouraging email devotion, which really spoke to me. Spoke to me about the new things I am wrestilng with. The new moments of stepping in to a different space. It came with some encouraging words:

"When we were children we didnt have a fear of messing up. In fact that's how we learned to walk, to eat, to talk and to learn. We fell down, we got food on the floor, uttered gibberish, and messed up our colors before perfecting all those activities. Yet, somewhere along the way we became afraid of making mistakes and that's when our development slowed down."

"The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.. Proverbs 24:16 teaches that falling down but getting up again, is that pathway to greatness."

There was so much more in that email that just really ministered to me, I just thought I would share a few snippets in case you need it too. Bless you! 

I’m having Coffee For Your Heart with my friend Holly Gerth

Dance with Jesus

Monday 7 December 2015

Why the Light matters to Me

I pull my beautiful, silver, nine - branched menorah (chanukiah) out from the drawer, along with those small candle sticks I bought in the U.K. A huge box that has since lasted me 6 chankuah's. I stand my menorah on the window sill, just as tradition teaches - so that I may light the world out there with the Light in here.

And as I hold in my hand the shamash, the servant candle used to light all the others, I am again drawn in to the beauty of why I love this festival. Each night as I add another candle to my menorah, I am reminded of what its all about. What this feast of dedication is all about.

It was winter, and the Festival of the Dedication was being held in Jerusalem.  Yeshua was walking in the Temple precincts, in Solomon's Portico.  The Jews gathered round Him and asked: ‘How long must you keep us in suspense?  If you are the Messiah say so plainly.’”  (John 10:22–24)

 Yeshua went to Jerusalem for the Feast of Dedication (Hanukkah), and while in the Temple area He proclaimed, “The works that I do in My Father’s name, these testify of Me. I and the Father are one.” (John 10:25, 30)

  When Yeshua spoke again to the people, He said, ‘I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.’”  (John 8:12)

Yeshua Himself celebrated this historical feast and at the time of this feast, where the giant menorah's were lit for all the world to see, He made some bold statements about Himself, statements that give me hope when its dark. Traditionally, Chanukah is an eight day celebration that celebrates a brave priestly family who rose up against the cruel and wicked Epiphanes who defiled Gods temple and set up an idol in the temple courts. He even forbid the Jewish people to keep any of the covenantal rituals of Sabbath, circumcision and new moon festivals (which calculated the times of the Biblical feasts). Those who kept these things, faced death and hundreds died. But one family fought back and rallied many to their side. Each one of them died in the fight to liberate their nation, only Simon the very last brother, remained behind. But through their sacrifice the Jews won and Israel regained its independence. 

Yet Chanukah stretches over to me. It speaks to me. The Chernobyl Rabbi Menachem Nachum said that on Hanukkah, God is willing to come down, right down to where the person is, in order to draw the person near. The Light of the World Yeshua, is always near, always drawing alongside us to hear our thoughts and our deepest needs. In prayer this evening, I cried out for this light to shine on the pathway of our lives. As my husband and I ready ourselves alongside many others, to kiss 2015 goodbye, we have a deeper sense of a great harvest ready for 2016 but we need the Light to lead us as we walk a life of blind faith.

I need Yeshua's light everyday, so that I can truly shine His marvellous light. His light changes people and as I add candle after candle on the menorah during the eight day celebration, I am deeply aware of something I never truly realised before. That we are here to change the world, one small candle at a time and that my heart yearns deeply from a solitary place thats only mine, to bring about a deeper change then ever  before. The servant candle used to light the others, is the Greatest Servant of all, the Suffering Servant Yeshua Messiah / Jesus Christ. He lights this light in me, so that I can shine freely. 

 "For even the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many."  (Mark 10:45)

I am in awe of the lights this year, in awe of the fact that we read Joseph's story during the feast of Chanukah. His story of dark despair because he was to bring forth such a marvellous light, of salvation to his family and ultimately the nation of Israel. Many of us will face hard times, prisons cells and false lies forged about us because of other peoples lust for who we are or what we have, but God is working it out for our good. We are here to bring about change, deep change, eternal change and the light in us defeats all the darkness out there, because we are called Children of Light, so come what may, Father please help us shine!

Happy Chanukah!! 


Friday 4 December 2015

The Seasons Door now Shut

Joining five Minute Friday today, for a Great one word prompt - Season! GO!

I drove home my eyes filled with gentle tears, the Hand of Love in my heart. Art season has come to an end, the term is done. I took up art to have fun but this term has been discouragingly hard. I guess my heart felt sad everytime I had to rack my tired brain, left brain - right brain, this brain that brain. Too much. This term much has been going on beyond art, getting my book finished, working with a difficult editor, who knocked my confidence somewhat but yet I have fought against it all. Stood tall and worked hard at my second book. Most nights I am up to 1am crafting this writing craft, on a roll so much so that I dont want to close my eyes. But inside I am also desperate for some rest, some holiday time. I flicked through the brochures this morning, at all those seaside pictures, yet knowing we wont be going on holiday, this bank balance dont approve. 
But, it's okay. God is the One who gives the holiday and the rest, it has come in knowing that certain things are done. This year has brought those shutters to a close and as I drove from art, I realised the door is closed and I can rest, the season for this year is over. Strangely enough with all these feelings, my teacher believes I did one of my best art works yet. Even though I shed some tears about it, where no one could see. I was most blessed to try my hand at a portrait, a beautiful little China girl adopted by a new friend. She is so sweet and my last activity was to capture her character, and her emotion, the fun in the hues and shades of blue. Think I will share this picture below. Whatever season is done, it's really good just to know no more working hard, its time to rest!

Linking with Kate M and Essential Things