Monday 30 November 2015

A Different Day

We got up early this morning just as well perhaps, because it was already getting hot! My hubby had not slept a wink, poor thing but we excitedly got dressed and made our way through traffic to meet a friend who just recently took on a new teaching job. He told us the school kids were quite hardcore and that a third of them were orphans and many of them were from abusive homes, filled with violence and beatings. We are no stranger to this kind of environment, in fact South Africa is sadly,  filled with violence. My husband also worked with juveniles for a while and we have visited a number of schools sharing his own story and working with kids, so we werent sure what to expect but we were expectant. 

Walking in to the school ground, the kids stared at us - new faces! And of course you always have those who run up to you and ask your name. Kids can be intimidating sometimes, especially when you dont have your own! But they can also make you feel incredibly special. So the morning devotional started and my hubs shared abit about his own story and coupled it with their own stories. There were some very interesting questions and some very brave confessions, mostly from the very little kids. 

At the end of our time with them the very little girls of about 6 or 7, came and gave me loads of hugs. I could have kept them all and suddenly I felt refreshed. The passed few days have been up and down for me, I am working hard on my new book and am experiencing the intense spiritual warfare that comes with boldly proclaiming an anointed message. I am a vessel. I am God's child and I need His daily breath and strength. I am learning a lot of new things and visiting that school today was a great gift for me. Yeshua showed me my heart again, this insatiable God desire to love and share goodness, to make a change. A desire that's been burning in my heart for some time. In our different ways, we do bring change and we make a change. There are many ways to do this and many more ways to just be who we are. Father knows, just how to refresh us with a love hug, a gentle kiss from Heaven, a way to glimpse ourselves again and to know that we can own what is inside and know that it is good.

I want to thank you all for being so great in your own special ways. I know many of you are just living life, and making a difference, you matter and you are special. Thank you for being you. And to the desires in our hearts to make bigger changes and get our hands dirty for the Kingdom - may we be blessed with God opportunities! And deeply refreshed with hugs from pure hearts!

 Sharing with Laura Boggess

Monday 23 November 2015

Remember those Fries?

I wish I could sit down with you all today and ask, so what makes you come alive?
We all sit around the table and we get dreamy and reflective, we sip from our cups and we talk about what makes us come alive and what makes us dream! No holds barred, money is not a hindrance, pain or health, the future – nadah, it doesn’t matter. Nothing stands in our way! We dream and let our hearts run free – have we ever done that without being ashamed, guilty or afraid? 
Just dreamed…

Last year when my husband and I visited Ghana, we were introduced to the food they eat. Fresh foods like “so do you have any banana’s?”
Sure! And then he goes out in to the sandy street and picks one off the tree – “here you go!”

Anything fresher is still growing as the saying goes! That’s Ghana and the goats that jump in between the houses, sadly they often end up on the plate but one Saturday morning after a week in to our trip I sat on the edge of the bed journalling and suddenly an overwhelming food craving overcame me. The kind of craving you get when you can actually smell the food in the air, it’s just that real!
I had a craving for french fries, or chips as we call it in S.A. There’s nothing like that in Ghana but as I perched on the edge of the bed I could see Papa’s Face smiling with a very big smile – come on, He seemed to whisper, what is it that you want?

French fries? Oh Papa please could I have french fries for supper please! He smiled in return and just like that the food craving disappeared and I carried on journalling. Several hours later, we made our sleepy way over to the dinner table. I had all but forgotten about the french fries but as I sat down, it popped in to my head. Dish after dish was piled on to the table, the fare of goat, salads, watermelon and some burny carb of some sort. Okay, so we started to dish up until the hostess moved over to our side of the table and set down a covered dish but when she pulled the lid off, lo and behold looking very out of place, was a huge bowl of french fries!

What! I jumped up and began shouting my halleluYah’s and doing a happy dance much to the confusion of the people around me, only my husband knew of my craving! He was dumbstruck too and I hugged our hostess tightly, however did you know I asked! She shrugged delighted, I just felt you should have French fries today!

And as I tucked in to my fries, I smiled tearfully. I have my opinion on the sudden craving, almost as though Papa was nudging me playfully, test me on this and see what I do. And I sense the lovable nudge again, that so what is it that you want?

Sometimes with in trepidation, we lift our pens to pen our dreams or desires perhaps because we are afraid of disappointment or being too large in our dreaming, I’m not sure. But I have met many a soul who will not ask dreamily for the laid down surrendered dreams of life. Yet, when I think back on those French fries, I see a Lover and a Dream Giver who says, Delight yourself in Me and I will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:5). 

So now I sit in that intimate space knowing the nudge is real and it’s real for many others too. What is on our hearts today, what is it that we crave in our spirits, He loves to hear and loves to watch us dream deep dreams birthed in the Spirit of God.
So grab a tea and share with God, the dreams and desires on your heart today and delight yourself in His Grace! Who knows, it’s time for a new batch of french fries to be served!

Thursday 19 November 2015

The Un-Linear Life

I am learning the gentle strokes of Loving Lessons Father would have me learn. Reminding me of a scene I once saw when I parked off in the beach parking lot some years ago. A little girl walking on large wooden beams beside the dunes, while her father smiled and held her hand as she navigated the new activity. This loving reasurance and steady Hand always there. We are sweetly taught from the Heart of God, He is the great Advice - Giver and Loving Papa. So one of the things I have learned and is very real to me, is that life is not linear, in fact its up and down, like an undulating hill. It rarely works in an order, even though man seeks to order it. Such as attend college, meet the one, have kids, buy a house, retire, fish, travel, buy that boat or car. How many people have said that!

Yet, when we wade in to the deep waters of life, we realise it is far from ordered, rather its dynamic. Ever moving in ways and leaps that both bring joy and sadness and for everything we know, God has ordained a perfect time. Life is not a point of arrival, it's a point of living and what we do here echoes in to eternity and it's exciting and its wonderful.

Part of my life journey, has been to share the words that Father gives me. To share the language we speak between one another. I have also learned that writing for me, is something that I do with God, it's a way He teaches me and speaks to me, it's a way we communicate. And at times that communication is not for myself alone, it can be for others, like with my book coming out in July! I am so excited when I think about it and yet I know it's part of the wonder of life. When I was young I used to think of a dream as a destination, a place we arrived at that held you like a sleepy hammock. Instead, I have learned that a dream is something that hardly resembles clouds of hazy abstract-ness, rather it's hard work and deep joy. Writing a book and seeing it suddenly flourish, has been a work of God and it's a wonderful work. Today, I was in awe when I received a mail from my publisher saying that a book ordering club that caters to people who live out of city centres, and cannot get to book stores, just ordered 700 copies of my book without it even being published yet. The news was really huge for me, it was like a love - gift. The purpose of this book, is the end time message it carries. It's not the paper or the ink, or the publishers stamp on the back. I am not interested in that - what's important is the message and to know that Yahweh is taking His message and already making waves with it's arrival, this is really cool! 

Again, the time of editing has been challenging, the undulating hill quite steep but its time to hit the plateau and enjoy the view, while we dip again. Life isnt linear it's unpredictable but what is certain, is the promises of God and today He says, no eye has seen and no hear has heard what lies ahead for those who love me!

Sunday 15 November 2015

Unplanned rhythm

This week, my husband and I have been trusting in God for a big need and we are still trusting and in the trusting, I have found some deep things, well beautiful wells that tell of deep Love from Fathers deep well Heart. 
This year has been different for us and as we come to that time of year where we almost sit back and look back with a contented sigh, I am happy. 
It's not the kind of happiness that means everything is okay, but it's the kind of happiness that makes me so happy to have a big Father who is so deeply looking after me, can you see the tears in my eyes yet?

Our year started with Father calling us out of teaching, in to a place of no finances and a whole lot of faith. Throw the seed I am giving you in to the world Papa said, and know that you will go through a wilderness, the financial brook will dry up but I am with you. That was our words, so with bags packed we headed out of our Egypt (the classes had become spiritual bondage as the people would go not further in the journey) and we lunged forward in to the wilderness. Wow, talk about learning to dance to the rhythm of Yahweh when you are out there in the wilderness. A few months later, a dream of mind was amazingly birthed, I signed a book contract to publish my first book and it was amazing. Two months later our ministry expanded and we started video teachings where we shared the deep messages of God for this season. Faithfully my husband worked at teaching himself video editing, after effects and crazy video making, he foudn this creative side of him and I am so in awe of what he has done. He really makes the teachings come alive! Then in June I started struggling with my neck and was forced in to a three month sabbatical which was really hard. It was here where I went deeper in to my journey of rest. A journey I have been on for a few years and finally the rhythm of rest moved deeper still in to my being. 
Faithfully we have continued the journey, and yeah financial wilderness - you gonna burst soon! And this evening we got together with a friend for supper and as we listened to him speak (he stayed behind in Egypt trying to teach one of the classes) he expressed so many of the things we had encountered when we were still there. Just listening to what was happening made my spirit tired, you cant change what doesnt want to change. But when my husband and I walked in to the quiet retreat that is our home, we smiled big at one another, took each others hands and prayed with tears in our eyes. Thank you Papa for leading us in Your rhythm of Love, this place may seem crazy or non - sensical but it's perfect! We are happy and in awe of what Yeshua does and everything He does is perfect. Perhaps sometimes we do need reminders especially if you are persevering in the trial. So it's a reminder always to all of us, that wherever Father is leading is perfect even if its a big change, or a non - sensical one, it's gonna make sense eventually. It's all about staying in step, keeping rhythm to the tune of Heaven and dancing with the King of Glory everyday. As a little girl I used to spin round and round to the music my gran used to play on record, it was the most fun I used to have. That sense of sticking my arms in the air and spinning, nothing mattered, I was free.

So here's to the spinning rhythm of Grace, playing loud to God's record player!

 Sharing with Velvet Ashes

Friday 6 November 2015

It's Awe

I squeeze my eyes shut and feel these many emotions, embracing all the feelings that make me me. That make me real and myself, just me. Hi there me, how are you today? I've been touched this week in many ways and part of that touching was a movie called Inside Out all about emotions. I can see why counsellors are using the story to help kids and adults and how we can all relate to Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust. With my emotions on my sleeve, I have been thinking about Love, for sure it was not a featured emotion but definitely a driving one. It's never missing and God's Love, that's the most inportant one. As I sit back in to the arms of my chair this evening and begin Sabbath, I am in awe of many things, but mostly I am in awe of the Chest of God. Yeah, literally. I have been in a very different personal place that I have settled in to and when I need Papa, He is oh so there and I am happy to crouch and fall in His arms and rest my head against His chest. This place connects that space of joy and sadness and I am learning how those two emotions can be so very inter-related. Feeling God's peace and comfort, His awe - inspiring Love through these moments that are sad, it gives life new meaning. It gives me new eyes. It makes the tears personal not only to Me but to the Chest of God, the place where His gentle heart beats. The Love space, the very breath He breathe sit all comes from His Heart and it speaks. 

I am grateful tonight for many things and true, at times gratefulness has been something we do or something we practice but truthfully I want my gratefulness to be a feeling. A connection to truth. The only way I can describe gratefulness is to connect it to awe, I cant seem to connect my feelings ro my mind to the word grateful, it sounds too cold, too overused. But awe, it gives this sense of the Divine, of the smile that shows I'm really pleased. To heart pounding amazing-ness that makes me warm all over and happy inside. Awe. So here's my awe realities...

Happy for peppermint bark and baking - yummy goods my hubby always asks me, why are you making these, who are they for? My hubs likes everything with a purpose, I like just being in the moment. It's something I have learned. So I answer with that sweet look on my face that always gets me a hubby hug. I'm not making them for anyone, I just made them for fun! *cue the Agnes face*

Love, I am learning so much....

Farming and lunch, family - visiting my brothers farm this Sunday for yummy pot roast and family time. Just the 6 of us, out on the stoep beneath the warm sun with cold glasses in our hands and connecting. I cannot wait.

Love - it is possible. Growing up in a turbulent home, God led me to a place of healing over a number of years. Having grown up without a deep relationship with my earthly father, the moment I stepped in to my healing, I was able to let go. No one should say it is not possible, today my father called, told me we have to come early on sunday so he can spend more time with me, he misses me. At the age of 26 when I was so ill years ago, he called told me he loved me after 26 years of never saying it. Today, I can tell you anything is possible with Yeshua. 

This space for words - sometimes I have wondered what my blog is all for but the connections with beautiful sisters I have made over this space, has blessed me spirtually and has helped me grow. And the ability to help others through this space has meant so much. Today I choose to celebrate this space.

New Words, Unlocking - enjoying writing again, discovering more of me and realising I am writing because that is part of Our story, mine and God's. Seeing the new coming through and sharing in a new space, its bliss.  

 Hoping you will have an awe-some weekend and that you will be blessed in it all!

Sunday 1 November 2015

A Great Victory - the end of China's One Child Policy!

Tonight I am just so overwhelmed with God's amazing love and Goodness, the "big-ness" of Him and the wonder! So many amazing things have happened, deep things that cannot be expressed in words because they are just too big!
But this evening what I do want to share with you, is this amazing news my husband shared with me today.

For those of you who have been following my journey on here, you will know that I have a big heart for Gendercide. (Here are the list of posts on this subject - Gendercide Links)

Gendercide is the routine, intentional killing of infants through abortion or infanticide (the killing of babies below 12 months of age) simply because the babies are girls.It is estimated that in China alone, 200 million baby girls have been killed because of the One - child Policy that was instituted in 1979 to curb China's population growth. Today 30 million men are without wives in China, and countless individuals have suffered torture, harassment and hardships for their desire to have more than one child. The one - child policy was instituted as a temporary policy which was suppose to be in place a few years and yet it devastated the health of a nation without any indication of its end.

The reality of the one child policy, caused the death of millions of precious lives, precious Esthers, Mary's, Martha's, Joan of Arcs and Deborah's! God's heart is broken because of the sin of man and His breaking heart was expressed in many men and women giving up their lives to oppose gendercide in China. Many Christians have done battle on their knees, fervently praying for this policy to end and for little girls to have their freedom!

Last year, I hosted a meeting in collaboration with All Girls Allowed, an organisation fighting to end gendercide. I will never forget how God told me to pray for gendercide to end, for rape to end, for the oppression to end. He told me to pray big prayers and to believe. I shared that with the crowd and together we agreed that God can do it!
And so this week - God did it! China's government finally, after 36 years, they abolished the one child policy and have lifted the ban on having one child. This means that lives will finally be spared, halleluYah! Isn't God good!

With this incredible victory, we also need to be aware of the fact that there is still much work to be done. For 36 years the highly competitive and patriarchal Chinese society will have to re-learn that girls are valuable, they have worth and they are special. They will have to re - learn that girls bring honour to their family in the same manner that boys do and they are made in the image of God. These prejudices against girls rooted in the devil's schemes, will have to be undone and only a move of God can do this and so we continue to pray for it while we rejoice in the fact that the removal of this policy is like a chain coming undone. We rejoice because He says pray for it and watch me do it!

Let us pray the big prayers family, for our nations and our families and watch our faithful Messiah Yeshua do the big things we never dreamed imaginable!