Saturday 29 March 2014

Transitions... transition I embrace Gods transitions

Sometimes perhaps we try and find words that cannot be found really. But tonight, love love love and God - He is my love, love love.
Transitions - life is full of machine like transitions that move quietly and calmly, this is the way of Gods transitions and I love it. I sense this and I love it. I love this picture above - a doorway in the midst of a beautiful, calm forest and the doorway? Well, you cannot see where it goes because I believe once she steps through it - the scenery changes and the Love? Well, it deepens and the dance intensifies and the Love? It strengthens. But you said love twice? Yes, I did! Can I say it again! And the Love, it deepens. 
Yeshua, Yeshua....
Let's walk through the door together, You take my hand and I am so free in You, so free, so free. Thank You for transitions - I let it all go,all of it. Let's go, take my Hand. Dance.... we are free! 

Monday 17 March 2014

Just had to post something beautiful tonight. Sometimes it feels hard, we get our up days and we get our down days but right now I know that despite those feelings which are very real, there is still beauty. Beauty in God and in many things around me. I do know that in the down days like today, when its tough and intense, I have the sense that God has His Taliet (prayer shawl) open and He smiles and whispers "come, come."
That still small voice that calls passionately and tenderly, all the same - knows just how to speak to us. He knows each of our hearts and He speaks to it in the language it understands. The way He speaks to my heart wont be the way He speaks to your heart but I have the conviction that He never stops speaking even if we cannot stop our own hearts from feeling sad. 

I have always wondered about the teaching that says our souls are bad and our spirits alone are good. I heartily disagree (and this is just my personal revelation based on intense conversations with Yeshua) our souls should always be led by our spirits, as our spirits are receiving from the Ruach of Yah, but our souls should also start glowing. Our emotions have been given to us so that we may feel. I have learned that the really intense, emotional people are often the ones who experience Yahweh the closest. They are the ones who feel Yahweh the most, their depth in the spirit opens them up to deeply grasping Abba. The danger comes when we are led away by every emotion or feeling, we have to be discerning. Not led my feelings merely but by the gentle dance accompanied by our spirit which is one with Yeshua. Our souls should be daily transformed in to the image of our King and daily our feelings should be there to connect with Him. 
Even when the days are down - there is the ability to connect with Abba- for some it is easier to connect with Him when they feel sad, for others when they feel happy. Well tonight, that is where I am - sitting with my feelings beside Yeshua, He loves to hear our hearts and He loves to hear how we are feeling - I guess that is the beautiful for me tonight. That there is always still beauty in Him and in His Loving Presence wherever and whatever we are going through. May His Felling of Love for us pull us through everything!
Lailah Tov!

Thursday 13 March 2014

The Lie of Perfectionism

For a while I have been acutely aware of the word “perfectionism.”

While sojourning through the daily flow of contemporary life, I have noticed how many times people have referred to themselves as perfectionists. Having said this, I remember going for my very first job interview all those years ago. I recklessly practiced my facial expression sof calmness and control (surely these two ingredients are essential number 1’s on employer’s lists!) in front of the mirror. I was then told the employer was likely to ask me what are my strengths and weaknesses. I murmured, mumbled, fumbled and then shouted eureka! I had it! I would fold the two questions together, weakness what weakness, strength – now that I can do. The answer was “perfectionist!” It could be a weakness but it could also be a strength, undoubtedly and while I did get the job I grew in to my perfectionist jacket and I wore it well.
Until a few weeks ago. God has a perfect timing and while he sees his kiddy over here struggling, He always promises to lift the weight. Part of my weight was the reality of perfectionism in my life. I set the bar so high that while I was at times able to jump over it, I ultimately failed to grasp and take hold of many challenges which came my way, simply because I was convinced I would fail most of them. You see, that’s what perfectionism does. It sets you up to fail. Because perfect is not something that any of us can do.  What we can do is – use what you got and entrust the rest to God. Well, that is all that is within our grasp to do on a daily basis. 

I must tell you that I am sick of perfectionism and I must tell you that God is not finished working it out in me but I am 80% of the way there. Today, I had to do a recording and while I felt it was not good enough – I am not here to be perfect, I am here to be an tool of God’s and that for me is enough. If my shaking voice which sounds crazy to my own ears – can set people free in their suffering, would I have not fulfilled the task God has created me for?

I am sincerely hoping that there are others out there like myself. Others who struggle to overcome their fear of “perfectionist failures.”

It is easy to pray and ask Father to work in you so that you may become all you were created to be, but it’s a completely different story to start to face the slick, crazy hands of human nature which still hold you back. I am sticking out my chocolate smudged finger at the enemy and saying “no more!! No more will you lie to me about myself, no more will I buy in to the worlds idea of perfection. No more will I succumb to a lesser view of myself – no I am wonderfully made and awesomely Gods. I am sick of fearing failure and sick of perfectionism. There I said it and now I am standing. Mama always says “tell the truth and shame the devil!” No now – God has me on His side and underneath His wings, He is working this out in me.
Beloved, I want to encourage you to look at your life and see how many times you have set yourself up for failure simply because you did not believe you had it in you to triumph? Even if man doesn’t recognise the best in you, so what. Yahweh does! And He says “this child of mine, she or he has made me so proud because he or she is doing the best they can and that makes me smile.” Yahweh is such a happy, beaming papa when we just take some baby steps, He doesn’t want us all perfect, He just wants us. And I am not giving the world perfectionism because in their deluded state of so-called perfect, they think they don’t need God. Knowing we are not perfect but that God is, keeps us in the place of safety, in the place of humble submission and deep leaning on the arm of the King and that I figure is a great place to be.

I am with you in this humanly state of “imperfectionism” and we are carrying our freedom together! HalleluYah!

Friday 7 March 2014

A Blessing for International Women's Day

What 20 000 Women Can Do - She Loves Magazine

This is my Story on She Loves Magazine this month. Its a story of a personal journey to connect with a lady named Ma Sophia. Enjoy! Click on the link below to read the story.....

Thursday 6 March 2014

The warmth of a flower hug

A friend of mine takes the most beautiful pictures of flowers, birds, animals and all sorts of things. She has shared this picture and because of her kindness I can share it here - to bless others. 

Last night in prayer time with my husband, Father broke my heart intensely as we sat in His presence.

Often, He allows me to feel deeply the pain or brokenness in others, but last night He broke my heart for the pain of the earth, meaning the physical earth - the land and the animals. I felt the pain and burden that the earth is feeling and the sorrow in the souls of His creation , which He declared to be "very good."
I cannot explain the depth of this to you - because it is without words and beyond description, although I have always LOVED animals, I now sense a difference in my understanding of them. Today I read about a 19th century woman of God named Zilpha Elaw, I read the following in the article about her which appeared in Charisma Magazine: "One day while milking a cow, Zilpha saw Jesus walking toward her. He appeared to say, "Thy prayer is accepted; I own thy name." Zilpha first thought she was seeing things; but when the cow looked in the same direction, bent its front legs and lowered its head to the ground, she knew the Lord had come to answer her prayer." 

I am tired of people looking at the earth as something disposable and I am tired of people killing animals and putting them on walls. Can we hear the message within these lines? This woman of God only fully realized she was seeing the Messiah Himself, when the cow next to her bowed and acknowledged the King? This should take your breath away.

The animals are part of God, they came forth from Him and He loves them dearly. He spared Nineveh because of the 150 000 animals (if you look at this word in the original it does not say cattle - it says animals, meaning all animals) who lived in the city. I often imagine Papa walking on the bottom of the ocean when He wants to be alone. He walks on the bottom of the oceans we have never even explored (70% of the ocean still lies undiscovered) and there He talks to the whales and exotic fish, sea life and Creation more beautiful then we ever imagined. I believe my Papa enjoys the smell of the flowers and the feeling of the grass beneath His feet and He loves to talk to the animals, to help them give birth, to feed them and cloth them with warmth in the winter months. He loves us to experience the joy in the flowers and the hugs they give us. 

I can never see the earth, the land mass, the ocean, the creation of nature, or the animals in the same way I used to. While scientists can claim whatever they like, Father whispered to me that the earth carries cracks in it, these are cracks of brokenness. Scientists call them 'fault lines' and rightly so - for whose fault is it that the earth is currently broken? None but man's alone. 

The weight of the earth's grief is no longer hidden from Father, it is plain and His heart is breaking for the goodness which He created. I want to urge you to stop playing around by harming the earth but I want to urge you to be kind to the animals and to the creation. The Torah has specific guidelines for us regarding how we are to treat animals and Gods creation - perhaps I will post it for you to all look at, in the days to come. But for now seek Gods heart on the brokenness that He holds within, for His creation and enjoy the warmth of a hug from a flower - flowers are part of His creation, these are tender touches of Yahweh's infinite goodness....

Monday 3 March 2014

Deep calls to deep in the roar of Your waterfalls;
all Your breakers and Your billows have swept over me.
(Psalm 42:7)

Yahweh has a depth that the human mind cannot fathom. of course we cannot fathom it because Father is Spirit and we are to worship Him in spirit and in truth. But sometimes, just sometimes, He shares His depth with some. I see this depth as a place in side of Yahweh, a place in His Spirit - a depth that He shares when we have gone deep with Him. When we have embraced a life of surrender, reckless abandonment and sacrifice - when our beings are emptied of ourselves and our spirit is so deep with the desire for Him, then He speaks to us - deep calling out to deep. It's like a waterfall whose waters cascade in to a pool at the bottom, we need to jump in to that pool and allow the billows and breakers of God's Depth to wash over us. For some, Yahweh will wash over them with love, for others Yahweh will wash over them with healing or conviction - make no mistake, I am not referring to the normal love you feel or the healing you long for, or the conviction you feel - I am talking about a DEPTH of love, a depth of conviction, a depth of healing - a depth that comes from the Bosom of the One who sits on the Throne. 
I love the fact that Father's deep ROARS - Lion-like to the deep in us. The Lion's roar is powerful and it awakens the slumberer, no one can ignore a lions roar. 

Amos 3:8
The Lion has roared, who will not fear?

The journey in to the depths of Father is reserved for a few, those of His choice alone. Not all will experience the deep calling out to deep, but part of the road map to getting there, is to be cleansed. Sometimes if some travel to the depth of their own hearts or their own spirits they will find only woundedness, pride, selfishness and darkness. Father's deep cant speak to deep which is defiled - He can only share Himself with the pure, the spotless and those who are desperate to get there. 

Psalm 51:6
 And yes, you want truth in the most hidden places;
    you teach me wisdom in the most secret space.

The deep within us is hidden to every eye except Father's, His eye scans our hearts and our secret places - for truth in our most secret places. For He delights in truth and He delights in the Spirit whose deep is pure, whose springs are flowing with living water from the Ruach Hakodesh. May your spring flow with water that is pure and perfect, so that deep can call out to deep in the Roar of Father's waterfalls! 

Sunday 2 March 2014

You are El-Roi, the God who sees me

Sometime ago Yahweh led me to the story of Hagar, Sarah's servant. I had read the story countless times before, but suddenly her pain become real to me. I think many of us - if not all of us can relate to the story of Hagar and her pain and then her prophetic declaration of "El-Roi." Hagar was the only one in the Bible to call God by this special name, - You are the God who sees ME. How many times do we want God to really see us? To really see our pain, see our hearts and our spirits - well He does see us. I once read that Yahweh sees hearts like we see faces and it gives me such comfort to know this. While I was reading the story of Hagar, I was inspired by the Ruach (Holy Spirit) to offer Hagar's story in a different light, may it touch and revive your spirits, for truly he is the God who really does see you and me....

I left him there beside the road, where the dust fills the air and the wild Terebinth tree grows and expands.
I left them both there; I have no use for their lies and despised looks. I left them there. 

Along with the only life I have known and now I wait beside the road side, my belly swollen and life undone. What am I waiting for? Salvation? Someone to save me, to set me free?  I wait until I can wait no longer and I feel myself sinking to my knees in the dust beside the dead carcasses that litter the way. I am a slave; I know nothing of freedom, nothing of love, nothing of undiluted acceptance. Who am I?

I am Hagar, the slave of Sarah.

And here I wait until someone crosses to find me, a pregnant despised slave sitting beside the roadside, waiting on salvation. My tears fall; my eyes are wells of water that cannot be contained. The pain of years, the pain of confusion, and the pain of not having my own name can no longer be contained. I am a woman despised. Can no man see my pain, can no one see? Silence fills the roadway, no one is coming and I weep, rejected and alone.

I hear the crunch of sandaled feet and peer up desperate. Where do you come from? He asks me. “I am running away sir, from my mistress.” 

“Go back to your mistress” He replies as He wipes my eyes, “go back and I will make you into a fruitful woman who will be mother of many descendants.”
“Who are you?” I ask.

He bends down and places His knees upon the dusty ground; He reaches out and touches my face. Something unexplainable fills my hungry soul and I peer into His eyes, He sees me. He sees ME. For the first time, somebody sees me. 

His sad eyes give me something that understands - something that eases my wounded heart, balm from an unknown place that heals my wounds. He moves to leave but I cannot help myself as I grab His arm; “Sir, who are you?” 

“You are pregnant with a son Hagar; you must name him Ishmael for God has heard about your pain and misery.” 

My tears of desperation fall once more as I meet His sad eyes and feel life grow inside of me. “You are the One who sees me, I know You are God, I am not afraid, Sir You are El – Roi!” He has seen me and I have seen Him, a man of sorrow knowing pain – I can sense it, He knew my pain.
I gather what is left of my belongings, while I arise on weary feet. I have strength to make the journey; I have the strength to return. I turn to thank this stranger but He is gone. I turn to leave no longer a slave but a person, who God sees as me.