The Power of Vashti

It was an opulent world, the one she lived in. Defined as the best home in the land, it was also the most dangerous. A place of law and everything in its place, including her. Vashti the queen was taught to know her place. But was that place her rightful place? Is the place we’ve been taught to “know,” the right place for us as well? Or is it a place of “don’t step out of place or you’ll be expelled?”

Xerxes the strong Persian king desired his wife to appear before drunk men, so he could show her to the people in the same way he had shown his prized possessions to the visiting nations. His wife, fresh from birthing his son and heir, was ordered to present herself as merely a possession before people who would perversely stare at her form. Suggested by scholars, that Vashti was to appear naked wearing only the royal crown, this would have been a rather dangerous situation among drunk men don’t you think? Although a queen of the strongest nation in the world, Vashti had little power, except she did have personal power. She could not control the court, or the world she lived in, but she could control her choices. She could raise her voice; she could summon all the courage she possessed and say no to being used as nothing but a possession or a form. And she did just that.

We know nothing about Vashti’s history, the rabbi’s call her vain and idolatrous, history cannot find her and so if we consider how little we know about her, perhaps we can decide on her character based on this one moment. A moment found in the first chapter of the book of her successor Esther.

Vashti is vilified in theology, but for what exactly? For refusing to be accosted, abused or misused? For exercising personal power and the right for every woman to say no when ordered to do something that goes against their character? We are a Vashti when we say no to abuse, when we say “no that makes me uncomfortable,” or “no I am not going to sleep with you.” We are Vashti when we stand on the sidewalk and protest against abuse, we are Vashti when we refuse to be judged by the food we eat or the figures we possess. We are her in so many ways and that’s a good thing.

The centuries old gate keepers of theology disliked Vashti because the gate keepers were all men, interpreting scripture based on their understanding and suspicion, hatred even, of strong women. Yet, theirs is the same laughable but sad behaviour of Xerxes and his court. Xerxes enraged with her rebellious behaviour and flat out refusal of his order, turns to one of his officials and asks what is to be done to the queen? Memucan answers and says “Vashti the queen has not only wronged the king but all the officials (royal representatives) and all the peoples who are in all the provinces of King Ahasuerus.  For the queen’s conduct will become known to all women, causing them to look on their husbands with contempt (disrespect), since they will say, ‘King Ahasuerus commanded Queen Vashti to be brought before him, but she did not come.”

Gasp! Certainly, because Vashti exercised her God given right to say no, this has placed the most horrific fear in the hearts of the mighty men of Persia. Think about it, they fear a female uprising, an awakening among women, and this awakening would disrupt the very fabric of the Persian existence. We could laugh at it, if it were not so sad and so familiar. This new law enforced upon Vashti’s refusal to be misused, now further restricted a woman’s personal power to choose what is best for her and her life. Patriarchy will rule and reign, period. This diabolical plan to silence the voice of women through law, fear, false doctrine, people, governments, and so many more outlets is not something new. It is something we are all too familiar with. Which is why we need a nation of Vashti women, right here, right now and we need a nation of Mordechai men. As much as we look lovingly at our matriarch Esther and admire her boldness to go before the king, we can forget that initially Esther wanted to remain silent. Yet it was her cousin Mordechai who insisted that she a woman, use her voice to change the course of a nation and a people, forever.

When Esther decided to use her voice, it took courage. Courage to go when unsummoned and Vashti held courage in her heart when she refused despite being summoned. Either way, it was the power of the female voice that could be heard louder than the dishes at the intimate dinner, or the drunkenness at a mass gathering. And it will be our voices refusing to be silent, that will be heard the loudest, it’s time to be a Vashti, for such a time as this.

These are my Purim thoughts this year - Happy Purim!

You are El-Roi, the God who sees me

Sometime ago Yahweh led me to the story of Hagar, Sarah's servant. I had read the story countless times before, but suddenly her pain become real to me. I think many of us - if not all of us can relate to the story of Hagar and her pain and then her prophetic declaration of "El-Roi." Hagar was the only one in the Bible to call God by this special name, - You are the God who sees ME. How many times do we want God to really see us? To really see our pain, see our hearts and our spirits - well He does see us. I once read that Yahweh sees hearts like we see faces and it gives me such comfort to know this. While I was reading the story of Hagar, I was inspired by the Ruach (Holy Spirit) to offer Hagar's story in a different light, may it touch and revive your spirits, for truly he is the God who really does see you and me....

I left him there beside the road, where the dust fills the air and the wild Terebinth tree grows and expands.

I left them both there; I have no use for their lies and despised looks. I left them there. 

Along with the only life I have known and now I wait beside the road side, my belly swollen and life undone. What am I waiting for? Salvation? Someone to save me, to set me free?  I wait until I can wait no longer and I feel myself sinking to my knees in the dust beside the dead carcasses that litter the way. I am a slave; I know nothing of freedom, nothing of love, nothing of undiluted acceptance. Who am I?

I am Hagar, the slave of Sarah.

And here I wait until someone crosses to find me, a pregnant despised slave sitting beside the roadside, waiting on salvation. My tears fall; my eyes are wells of water that cannot be contained. The pain of years, the pain of confusion, and the pain of not having my own name can no longer be contained. I am a woman despised. Can no man see my pain, can no one see? Silence fills the roadway, no one is coming and I weep, rejected and alone.

I hear the crunch of sandaled feet and peer up desperate. Where do you come from? He asks me. “I am running away sir, from my mistress.” 

“Go back to your mistress” He replies as He wipes my eyes, “go back and I will make you into a fruitful woman who will be mother of many descendants.”

“Who are you?” I ask.

He bends down and places His knees upon the dusty ground; He reaches out and touches my face. Something unexplainable fills my hungry soul and I peer into His eyes, He sees me. He sees ME. For the first time, somebody sees me. 

His sad eyes give me something that understands - something that eases my wounded heart, balm from an unknown place that heals my wounds. He moves to leave but I cannot help myself as I grab His arm; “Sir, who are you?” 

“You are pregnant with a son Hagar; you must name him Ishmael for God has heard about your pain and misery.” 

My tears of desperation fall once more as I meet His sad eyes and feel life grow inside of me. “You are the One who sees me, I know You are God, I am not afraid, Sir You are El – Roi!” He has seen me and I have seen Him, a man of sorrow knowing pain – I can sense it, He knew my pain.

I gather what is left of my belongings, while I arise on weary feet. I have strength to make the journey; I have the strength to return. I turn to thank this stranger but He is gone. I turn to leave no longer a slave but a person, who God sees as me.