Friday 22 January 2016

When your Heart's not Home anymore

 I was sitting in the passenger seat of the car today and thinking about how my heart has left the place we once called home. The past two weeks have made my husband and I change our thought patterns about where we wanna be. But even before that, something changed. We have been living in this home now for 4 years and we came here to the country, for peace and quiet, to be restored and to be mended. We came here broken but in answering the call, the call to teach people the Bible and to shepherd. We answered that call and did it, now we no longer teach but invest in our online ministry and in to the lives of others via our international reach. We have come apart from what we first did here, piece by piece, web by web, one strand at a time. And we are free, healed, restored and desiring the new thing. Word after word, since mid last year we have received the promise for an open door. We are still waiting faithfully for that door and we are expectant for it.

These passed two weeks however, we have had to endure cruel assualt from a neigbor which resulted in us having to get a protection order but the victimising has not stopped. It has continued, through others in our complex block where we live. In our innocence we have become the outcasts, the people who are treated bad and everyday it gets worse, I dont even want to get in to it. I am a pretty private person, not always sharing my personal problems at length but here we are and this is no longer home anymore.

For years I worked hands on counselling abused women and working as a trauma worker where I went with the police to get women from their homes. It was intense and it was rewarding but I saw first hand the damage secondary victmisation does to people. The community abuse, the church abuse, the way people side with perpetrators of crimes, abuse and all sorts of evil. The victim often becomes the hunted and it was terrible to watch. Now, we face our own valley but we stand deep, stand firm in what God has promised us this week. In these situations God becomes bigger, He reveals Himself deeper and stronger, His magnitude more real.

Home. A place I want to go to, a place only God can give. Home, a place I work from, a sanctuary for God's presence. A Tabernacle, a comfort. Home, God please help us find the new one on the horizon, confirmation after confirmation is here, its time for a new chapter, we know it, we feel it, let your will be done!

1 comment:

  1. Wow - praying for you about that situation. I appreciate what you shared about your home being a place that did fill its purpose - but now it's time to move on, it seems, if I understand correctly. I think God leads us to places like that - and then leads us out of them...but sometimes we have a hard time seeing that and letting go and moving on...