Thursday 22 May 2014

Sacred Space

I learned something amazing about “me” today and somehow I want to share it here just because. This morning I was led by Father God to share with a good friend, something that Father wanted her to know about a specific behaviour. I cherish the fact that we know each other and value one another so as to have the space between us to share directly in love, with one another. As I started sharing with her what Father had laid on my heart, I started to have personal revelation about myself. It was not something perceived in the mind, but it was something that opened in my innermost being, in my spirit and the moment was a sacred space. For years I struggled with the idea of rest until I had burn out twice.

The burn out I had in 2009 was so severe that I had to see a psychiatrist. Needless to say I knew what was coming, medication. However, I dropped the script and made the journey to England for a full month’s holiday. My boyfriend at the time (now my husband) was preaching the word in a church there and we stayed with my (now) in-laws. Father knew it was the right space and conditions for me to heal. I had a very small bedroom with a double bed and a wardrobe but the best part about this room was that the bed faced a huge bay window which overlooked gardens and tall trees. Occasionally we saw foxes in the garden and lots of different birds, it was heavenly. I spent most of my time resting physically until my emotions and mental state could follow suit. I learnt that physically resting is not the same as whole being resting. I can be resting physically as in sitting on my bed chilling but my soul could be all over the place and then that’s not resting. Anyhow, as I sat on that bed in the U.K I heard the Father tell me – “now I am going to restore you, you will see.” I trusted Him and truly He did. After that I had a long way to go to learn about true rest. You see I come from a family where emotional abuse was the order of the day. I came home not knowing what mood I would find or what trouble I would be in, so there was never a sense of rest hanging around. This was the reality that had to be restored in me, the reality of rest. 

Today as I was speaking on the phone, I had such a divine, sweet moment – Father showed me that I love to create a space. A real space. I studied psychology for ten years but knew I never wanted to fix other people’s problems; I wanted to facilitate their growth. I could never put it plainly in to words, suddenly Yeshua made it real for me today. I do not want to fix your problems, I don’t want to give advice – this is not what I was created for, rather Father wants to create a safe space around me for you to be real with me, with yourself and with Him. This space is a rest space, a trust space, a quiet and sometimes noisy space, or a silent space, you should not have the answers in the space and it is not about fixing it is about being real. Part of the conversation with my friend revolved around being real, especially with yourself and allowing a space to be real. Her and I could relate to this, especially being in ministry, that space is hard to find but it still exists. Today – in this section on my journey in life, I believe so much in rest and giving myself the space for what I need, that I won’t compromise on that. Rest and true, real space that is important in my life and even when I don’t enjoy the liberty of going away anymore, I still can choose the space in my life. The space to sleep, to walk, to listen to the birds, the space to create, to draw, to pain, to write, the space to just be me. God has given it to me and I am living it, I am the space person, and I wont compromise on it. We need to live it – and forget about the world as the world has a warped idea of space and rest. When people rest the world says hey you being lazy! But when we don’t rest, we are being disobedient – isn’t Father’s fourth commandment about resting on the Sabbath, all about true, spiritual rest! Taking rest space and real space is not selfish, it is honouring. Honouring to yourself and honouring to Yahweh, it honours Him when we value ourselves because of His Creator stamp that He placed on to our flesh and in our DNA. We need to be tenacious about taking our space and allowing a space like that to exist for others too. I believe this is a journey but there is nothing better than to enjoy true rest, in all areas of our being – body, soul and spirit! I must add before I end off that true rest and peace only comes when one’s being in connected to the Holy One of Israel, to Yeshua. There is exists no peace without Him, for the Bible tells us that there is no rest, no peace for the wicked (Isaiah 48:22). True rest can only exist alongside real trust, to rest requires trust. Think about sleeping for example, sleeping is the deepest place of trust, it is a time when you are not in control of your surroundings, of your bank account, your household, etc – all is left in God’s Hands and when all those things are truly left in God’s Hands, one enjoys the sweetest sleep. Again, this is a process but one within our grasp, I am committed to God in rest, let us heed what He tells us to do and not be one who is unwilling....
Let me end off with the following:

This is what the Almighty Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:
You can be saved by returning to me.
    You can have rest.
    You can be strong by being quiet and by trusting me.
    But you don’t want that.
(Isaiah 30:15)

(Today I am linking up with Faith Barista Bonnie Grey and using her quote above which is so inspiring, praying all the best for Bonnie as she releases her book! )

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