Wednesday 11 June 2014

A "Jenny" in all of us

I was sitting in the lounge today when my eyes fell on Jenny. Jenny is a very special porcelain doll my mom made for me when I was about 12 years old. At the time my mom was making porcelain dolls each week when suddenly she found this one in a book and thought she looked so much like me. Jenny has a nice bob hairstyle and she had brown eyes (after 16 years they have now turned purple!!) and she loves walking around in her pajama’s with her teddy bear under her arm. As I looked at Jenny today, I kind of felt emotional I guess it was because she does look so much like me when I was younger. She also reminds me of all the things that comforted me as a child. One of them was a pink blanket called Blankie or Twirly, which I slept with until the age of 21. I also carried my toys around with me and I still love teddy bears! 

Years ago a friend of mine visited a psychologist and after a number of sessions the psychologist suggested that she buy a doll and play with it. Another young lady I knew had another psychologist suggest that she buy teddy bears. These two completely different women had two things in common, they have both never had the privilege of proper childhood memories and so they needed to embrace the part of themselves which they never had the privilege of enjoying. Think about it, some around us never had the privilege of being a child. Some had to bathe their drunk moms, or look after their brothers and sisters while their parents were drinking or drugging. Others had to grow up and get a job when they should have been in school and enjoying the ups and downs of being a teenager and yet others have the cheek of condemning people who re-embrace their childhood years. I myself have so many wonderful memories of my childhood, and I have many bad ones too but over the past few years Father God has cleansed my memories and allowed only the good to remain behind. I was given the precious joy of being a child; I had loads of toys (which I still have in boxes in my house!) I had loads of teddy bears (and I keep buying more) and I had loads of playtime alone and with friends. The point is that inside we still are little girls (or boys) and we need little me or little you to be free. Often in prayer I see myself as a little girl just so excited to be with Daddy. Other times I see myself as other things but to allow myself the joy of being a little girl playing with her toys while Daddy Yahweh sits on His rocking chair smiling at me, is one of the things I enjoy the most. 

On the other side of this I must just add that I went through an entire year of healing the little girl in me. I had many father wounds and mother wounds as a child and in 2010 and 2012 Yeshua started ministering to me and taking me back to the point where I was five years old. Little me needed healing and so I received it and now I am able to be fully me – alive in my thirtieth year and also I am sometimes just Father’s Lollipop eating, push me higher on the swing little me. And its perfect! I don’t want you to feel like you can’t embrace the little girl in you just because the world says grow up. If you love teddy bears – then love them! If you love colouring in books then love them, clay making then clay make, whatever it is – we are all still Daddy’s little girl. That is why I posted a song by Steven Curtis Chapman called Cinderella on my blog down below, because Father wants to dance with His Cinderella today. There is a Jenny inside of us all and she has a pink pajama’s on with a teddy bear snugly under her arm and she is healthy, she is happy and she is whole. I love the wholeness that Father brings to us and to our little girl souls – because as Dr Dobson says “every one of them (girls) is beautiful, precious and unique.”  You are so precious and loved in the eyes of the King today, whether that is hard for you to accept it still remains truth and I bless you today in the name of Messiah Yeshua to be whole, to experience true Love and to be fully you in the presence of yourself. I bless you to take your healthy, happy, whole Jenny along with you and never forget to be the little girl in the arms of a Mighty God – His Love is strong, Eternal and unfailing!  

(I’m having Coffee For Your Heart with my friend Holley Gerth today!)


  1. This is such a beautiful post. I have a friend who is struggling to heal her inner child. She recently bought herself a Barbie doll because she had been denied one, repeatedly, as a child. She loves that doll. I have shared her post with you because I think it will encourage her. Thanks for sharing. I found you through Holley's link up.

  2. This post goes right along with Dr. Kevin Leman's book "Smart Women Know when to Say No"...its such a great read on exactly what you are talking about! thanks for the vulnerability

  3. I love teddy bears, too. :) I was actually even thinking the other day of going out and buying myself one or else putting a hint in my hubby's ears. I love how you encourage us how precious and unique we are in our Father's eyes and how we should just be ourselves, even if it does mean playing with Teddy Bears. :) Thank you, Aliyah.