Seven years ago, I started praying for a new home. The crazy thing is, we don't often think much about timing when it comes to moving or finding a home, as much as we consider timing when it comes to many other things, like our purpose or calling. But somehow, God never released us into a new home until this month. All these many years later. If there's one thing I know, it's that sometimes the things our Father decides to do, defies logic and understanding. But that's the beauty of faith. It suspends meaning. And as people of faith, we forfeit control by allowing there to be no understanding in situations which call for it. Or we risk attaching the wrong meaning to our situations.
Moving has been a deep journey. Ten years of living in one home almost placed us in a comfort zone, which wasn't very comfortable at all. We lived in a close complex, sadly one of the needs within South Africa, is the need to be safe. So we are often found living in security villages, which put you in close contact with your neighbours and if your neigbours aren't very nice, well, you are basically in hell. Our story. We had a restraining order against our downstairs neighbours (thankfully they moved away eventually), we were physically attacked by another neighbour and basically routinely victimised because lawlessness, selfish and evil heartedness prevailed within our security village and we refused to bow our knee to it.
Fast forward..
As I sit in the quiet solitude of a large home, with its high ceilings, in a beautiful suburb in a neighbourhood where the neighbours greet, and help one another, where the birds never stop chirping and the cool breeze blows from the sea, I feel released, and blessed. The years of living in that home, have taken its toll on my soul. Of that I have become aware. Yet in the 4 weeks of finally settling in to a new home, a new space and a new rhythm, I've learnt a lot. And I have truly come home. We moved back to the neighbourhood I grew up in, with the beautiful familiar sights and sounds. Our beloved Table Mountain can be seen from our home and it never fails to mesmerise me.
Ive learnt about yearning and pulling. The reality of feeling a pull towards "coming back home." We always knew this was where we would be, we felt it spiritually. And God made it happen. When you feel a deep spiritual something indescribable pulling you towards something, it's because there's destiny written all over it. The invisible string that connected us towards this pulling, brought us home.
God can do in 1 day, what could take you many years. Eighteen months ago, we drove around in this very suburb (and it's a small suburb), almost like spies looking at the houses. In this very suburb we prayed, "Father release a home to us right here." We had complete belief in the Goodness of His Heart. The absolute conviction that He is a good Father. In March, we received a call from a family member who never knew we wanted to move. They were moving, thought of us, and offered us the opportunity to rent the home they were vacating. Where? In the neighbourhood we prayed in. There are no coincidences.
A comfort zone is fear based. Even though we were desperate for the move, we were afraid at times. And almost risked giving up the blessings that waited for us on the other side. When we defaulted in to seeing things with our natural eyes, we risked almost giving up what was intended for us. This is such a HUGE lesson! One I am still pondering deeply. Thankfully, Yahweh knew our humanness and never let us slip, going ahead and doing wonders. His peace guided us like a very strong light, it never moved or failed, never left us, or let us down. We are here, because He was guiding the whole process.
When we are blessed, others are blessed. Friends have been joining with us in prayer for many years. We had shared with a small number of friends about our hardships and our desire to move. They were our prayer warriors, and our voices of encouragement. Because of their love and prayers, we are here as well. And now our home, is their home too. Our blessings, help them know God is still good and they can trust Him for their own dreams. Deeper still, we've shared meals and conversations around our dining room table with more friends and family in a single month then we usually have before. That's because this space is a home. And we want to share it with the ones we love. A few months back, someone I know was praying for us and saw a picture of people coming in to our home who needed a touch of love and peace. She told me she saw many people refreshed as we welcomed them in. These words are unfolding. Naturally and without hesitation.
It's a journey. We look around and feel the gratitude, it's deep because we know what we went through to get here. Yet, for me personally I also know how my body has held the score of the years of trauma we lived through in an environment which felt unsafe emotionally, and mentally. No, we weren't living in a dangerous neighbourhood, in fact it's one of the most upmarket neighbourhoods in the Cape. But it is oppressed and depraved, and the richer people are, the more they demand licentious right, to everything and anything. I'm taking the time to heal, knowing that everything - light, sound, environment, and people all effect our cells. Since moving, there are mornings and afternoons I've felt the Holy Spirit beckon me to lean in deeply, in to the silence that charaterises the environment where we live. Leaning in to this silence, has meant realising I am safe. As a child, my home was never silent, there was always fighting. My brain was always scanning for danger. It was the same where we used to live, people were always gossiping, or complaining, arguing or intimidating others. Your brain scans for clues of fear. Now, God is showing me that's no longer the reality, there is a silence that is calming. I am safe. Of this, I am still learning.
So we are settling. And it's beautiful.