A new rhythm. I found this truth swimming up to my
brain and in to my conscious mind. Planted there by God as something of an
answer, comfort and direction. I’ve had to learn to swim now that the current’s
changed. I’ve had to adapt to new rhythms, as shifts happen in my life. Taking
on a new radio show, and learning to fill in new paperwork each week (taking
hours at a time), being consistent to post my show to social media, and prepare
my guests and notes. It was hard not to get lost beneath the sheer weight of
it, and the shift. Growing pains, as I learned through the struggle with my
overworked and overwhelmed emotions. Work shadowing older presenters, learning
from their talents and giftings, their years of experience, all the while praying
God make me a sponge, let me soak and learn.
I’m blessed to stand here, with no previous experience
in radio, this door opened with such Divine Force, I prayed for weeks and then
stepped through it. A blessed stepping. Only to discover once I had stepped,
that something inside of me was well prepared and ready, eager and waiting. A
part of me was already awake, though I had not consciously perceived it, born to
use the microphone across the frequency waves to make a lasting change, to be a
voice, even a small one.
Still, finding a new rhythm, has challenged me deep in
my core. Pressures of life demand that we have many responsibilities and priorities.
A week ago, I was led by The Holy Spirit at 1am to be still and journal. So
journal I did. The sacred moments of connecting with ink and paper, the sound
of gentle writing on paper thin, the moment where truth gems pour from the soul
on to the paper. Right there, meeting my heart on white pages, such joy. Meaningful, the Holy Spirit led me to
write, what is meaningful to you? It’s
the very question we ask ourselves with happiness, what is meaningful enough to
say yes to, and what is meaningful enough to say no to. I sat wading through
the water of thought and conversation with God, in to the open lake of
discovery. I am still struggling with the amount of paperwork and pressure to
complete these tasks on top of ministry tasks that overtake me daily, yet within
the grind that sometimes wearies me, I am more aware of what is meaningful, so
I am not spreading myself out too thinly. And I miss this space, this blog space.
My personal quiet space of white space where I can share small parts of my
heart in whispers that feel safe. I hope to climb back in to that white space,
because this is what’s meaningful. And I hope with clasped hands held out in
prayer that I will see such light and hope come from this radio show, testimonies
of changed lives and deeper hope. Hope against all Hope.
