Monday 3 June 2019

Rhythm's Different Design

A new rhythm. I found this truth swimming up to my brain and in to my conscious mind. Planted there by God as something of an answer, comfort and direction. I’ve had to learn to swim now that the current’s changed. I’ve had to adapt to new rhythms, as shifts happen in my life. Taking on a new radio show, and learning to fill in new paperwork each week (taking hours at a time), being consistent to post my show to social media, and prepare my guests and notes. It was hard not to get lost beneath the sheer weight of it, and the shift. Growing pains, as I learned through the struggle with my overworked and overwhelmed emotions. Work shadowing older presenters, learning from their talents and giftings, their years of experience, all the while praying God make me a sponge, let me soak and learn. 

I’m blessed to stand here, with no previous experience in radio, this door opened with such Divine Force, I prayed for weeks and then stepped through it. A blessed stepping. Only to discover once I had stepped, that something inside of me was well prepared and ready, eager and waiting. A part of me was already awake, though I had not consciously perceived it, born to use the microphone across the frequency waves to make a lasting change, to be a voice, even a small one.

Still, finding a new rhythm, has challenged me deep in my core. Pressures of life demand that we have many responsibilities and priorities. A week ago, I was led by The Holy Spirit at 1am to be still and journal. So journal I did. The sacred moments of connecting with ink and paper, the sound of gentle writing on paper thin, the moment where truth gems pour from the soul on to the paper. Right there, meeting my heart on white pages, such joy. Meaningful, the Holy Spirit led me to write, what is meaningful to you? It’s the very question we ask ourselves with happiness, what is meaningful enough to say yes to, and what is meaningful enough to say no to. I sat wading through the water of thought and conversation with God, in to the open lake of discovery. I am still struggling with the amount of paperwork and pressure to complete these tasks on top of ministry tasks that overtake me daily, yet within the grind that sometimes wearies me, I am more aware of what is meaningful, so I am not spreading myself out too thinly. And I miss this space, this blog space. My personal quiet space of white space where I can share small parts of my heart in whispers that feel safe. I hope to climb back in to that white space, because this is what’s meaningful. And I hope with clasped hands held out in prayer that I will see such light and hope come from this radio show, testimonies of changed lives and deeper hope. Hope against all Hope.

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