Walking through the Hallway

“She walked through the great hall, peering up at the faces of the
mocking kings who had ruled before.
As she walked, her feet moved but inside she was crying, “Father do not forget about me,
I need your help and comfort to shelter me.
Let my feet walk in you and let me rise up, not in to this shadow
which I have become but let me rise up and be Esther,
boldly powerful and boldly queen.”
She felt strength move at her right and then at her left,
she remembered the words of the Psalm,
ten thousand at your right, a thousand on your other side,
but it will not come near you, you will only look on and see the annihilation of the wicked.
She kept moving forward until finally she stopped before the great hall.
She felt a hand move across and suddenly she held her head out high.
Open the doors! She cried and in she walked,
Esther, Gods chosen and Gods queen, robed in her battle gear, arrayed in the dress of Grace.”

I wrote this piece based on a beautiful image portrayed in the Talmud (the Jewish oral law) regarding Queen Esther and the fateful day where she petitioned the king to spare the lives of her people. The Talmud relates that Esther had to walk through a great big hall littered with pictures of dead Persian kings who had ruled before. While she carried the weight of her own life hanging in the balance, she also carried the weight of the lives of a people. Of course this weight was too heavy and Esther felt weakened in both body and in heart. As she walked she cried out “My God, my God why have you forsaken me? (Psalm 22:1) and just then Father sent three angels to support her. One on her right, one on her left and finally one to lift up her head as she approached the king. This image has stayed with me and I think about it often when I am walking through my own hall of despair and danger.

In the Jewish tradition, Psalm 22 which was written by King David has also been attributed to Queen Esther. As believers we also know that our Messiah Yeshua was the ultimate Redeemer to which this Psalm refers. Tonight, I want to take a look at this image of Esther in the great hall and Psalm 22. Verses 1 through 5 say the following,

My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?
Why are You so far from helping Me,
And from the words of My groaning?
O My God, I cry in the daytime, but You do not hear;
And in the night season, and am not silent.
 But You are holy,
Enthroned in the praises of Israel.
 Our fathers trusted in You;
They trusted, and You delivered them.
They cried to You, and were delivered;
They trusted in You, and were not ashamed.

This is the New King James translation of the following verse but I want to draw your attention to some of the original wording in Hebrew because our translations in English lose the meaning of the original words which hold significance. The Psalm begins with saying “why have you forsaken me?” however the original Hebrew actually says “Lemah instead of lamah” which means for what am I suffering? Both kind David and Queen Esther were people of faith, who tried to walk righteously, in their times of despair they wondered and asked God, why is this happening, what is happening! I have learned in my own life that this is the introspection that often takes place in life. Sometimes we try and do everything right and still there is a period of suffering, I hardly doubt Father expects us not to ask Him for answers, in fact we need to get real about how we feel too. Verse two in Hebrew says “in the night season I am silent.” I really like this verse; it has the meaning that sometimes words cannot explain the depth of the soul or the spirit when we face the darkness in our lives. Sometimes words are just not enough, in these times we go silent. Our words fall silent but in these times sometimes all we got to say is Father I have no words just hear it in my heart.

Verse 3 is a wonderful verse which can offer us much hope when we are walking in our own great halls of trial. The Hebrew says “yoshev tehillot” it means “God You are sitting in praise.” Hebrew is a physical language not an abstract language, the image of God sitting does not mean He is uninterested in you or I rather it means that He is enthroned FOREVER! No matter our present ups or downs, God remains King, His will remains steadfast, His plan for your life remains in place and nothing can move Him. This is a place of confidence, no matter our present course or trial – Yahweh is God, He will not change His mind concerning the good He is bringing for you. Let’s look at verse 15, “My strength is dried up like a potsherd,
And My tongue clings to My jaws; You have brought Me to the dust of death.” Have you ever felt so dry, so sun baked and so without moisture that you feel dehydrated spiritually? Well then you are not alone because David did, Esther did and so did many others like Job. But even like these people of God, Father never let them down – they were confused, Esther was in a place of danger, David was almost killed before he even became king and Job lost everything before he was restored. However verse 20 to 21 says “Deliver Me from the sword, My precious life from the power of the dog. Save Me from the lion’s mouth and from the horns of the wild oxen! You have answered Me.” 

As Esther walked through that hallway on that day of destiny, she may not have known the outcome of her actions at that moment, she also had not up until that point, realised why she had endured the trials she had. Commentaries tell us that Esther entered the great hall of the king in her ninth year of living in the palace. Let’s get real about Esthers demise, she lived in a very dangerous place and her identity had to be continually hidden. She did not understand why and yet she had to stay hidden away from her people and from all she had known and loved before, talk about challenging. 

But before she walked in to that room she came to a place of peace within and so can we. In our present trials and challenges, we are never alone Father Yahweh will always send us help from above. NO matter where we are in our walk today, I believe that we can rest in the knowledge that, we may not understand today but in time we will and while we are on the road we know the end of the story. The end of the story says that Yeshua has the victory, He has won it for both you and for me and He will give it to you in His perfect time. Essentially, He is the King forever, the One whose will will stand, the scepter belongs to Him and He is able to lower it at anytime. Keep on going child, keep on going, He is ready to lift your head and answer your prayer, you are never alone, you have to keep on wearing your dress of grace and know that where you end that’s where He begins.... Esther did not understand why she had to suffer for 9 years before finally her purpose was revealed. David waited over twenty years before he became king, but it happened because Father had a plan. Keep going, He is not finished with you yet!