For years I hid but not in the way you would expect. I was active, doing the things God called me to do. Teaching, studying, writing, counselling and working alongside my husband in the ministry but in a more passive role. Just being there in a way. I loved to write and so it was the main thing I did but I never thought of myself as standing up and speaking to people. I loved counselling, being with people one on one and I loved being around people, the centre of the crowd. But speaking, teaching, preaching - wahaha, not me! Until one day while busy working on a ministry book, I felt God nudging me forward. It was time to fly yet I whispered "God I just want to sit behind my computer screen, you've gifted me to write, I dont need to speak, I can just write." This wasnt rebellion or selfishness, it was the desire to hide, to be small. Many times we speak about having a small dream but what if, just if, God has a big dream for you. Like speaking to people from a stage. Or writing a movie script, or travelling to India where you will touch the hands of lepers and the arms of brokenness. What if, just if, this is what God called you to do - what if your dream is too small. Because mine was, I wanted to hide, scared of dishonouring my Father with a big dream. Exactly thirty minutes later an email appeared on my screen from a friend in the States, it read the following "I was praying for you today and sissy I have to tell you God says you are called to be more then a writer, you are called to speak girl! You are called for so much more, its time to get out from behind your computer and stop hiding."
Truthfully, up until that point I had never had God use someone so directly to speak to me before, but it was a Love Touch from God. The touch was saying my child, I am here - I have a bigger dream for you. I am happy to say that God led me like a Lover who leads His beloved out on to the dance floor, He led me out from hiding behind my gift of writing, to be more then I thought I could be and truthfully, He is still doing it. I have often been scared to be bigger, to live with a bigger dream - but God is daily Loving me to believe, to not hide, but to believe in who I am in Him and who He is in me. As Pentecost draws near, I thought about Peter, that day when the Holy Spirit fell and He got to pray for 3000 people who were added to the congregation. I wonder if He ever thought He would do that - the once backwater town, rugged fisherman who faltered and failed but got back up. His dream was probably to make a living for his wife by fishing on the Galilee, yet Yeshua entered the scene, called to Peter from behind the net and whispered, for you I have a bigger dream, was Peter scared? Did He dare to imagine he would pray for 3000 peeps in one day! I dont think so, so thank You Father that you dont want us to hide, but you want us to come out from behind the books, the washing machine, the computer or office desk because You have a bigger dream....
(Linking with FMF Kate and joining the conversation at Velvet Ashes this week)
Thank you for sharing your story at Velvet Ashes today. May we all have the courage to say YES to God's big dreams for us!
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